Hi guys! I’m coming at your from the airport en route to Los Angeles. After the arctic freeze we’ve been experiencing in New York I am oh so excited for 10 days of warmth and sunshine.
My best friend from college, David, lives in LA. He’s the reason I go out there every chance I get. David is turning 30 this month! I knew I couldn’t miss out on the big birthday extravaganza and a chance to spend some quality time together.
I don’t have a ton planned as of right now — I’m 99.9% sure we’ll end up at Disneyland. I’ll probably hit-up Training Mate a few times and all my favorite restaurants. Other than that I’m just excited for some warmth, relaxation, and time with David.
I feel like things have been very go-go-go since September. In my head I kept telling myself Oh I’ll catch up during winter break. In my head I had these HUGE plans for the break. Clean my closet. Reorganize my pantry. Switch up some of the graphics on old blog posts.
None of that has happened. I should have known better than to set these big goals for break. Not having homework the past few weeks has certainly been nice. But over the holiday weeks I ended up subbing A LOT of classes at CorePower. Which was great — hello, money! And it was fun to teach some afternoon and evening classes. BUT it also meant I was on-the-go and tired during those weeks.
It’s not like I’ve been sitting around my apartment all break twiddling my thumbs. But I also got hit with this guilt bomb that I should be doing more.
The same guilt bomb hit me yesterday as I was getting ready to head out of town today.
Flight essentials: books, notebooks, headphones and lugging my camera so my LA instagram husband can take ALL the photos.
I had this long, sprawling to-do list of all the things I wanted to get done before leaving. Podcast episodes I wanted to edit and queue up. Blog posts I wanted to write and schedule. And of course a desperately needed pedicure…
Some of it got done. But most of it didn’t.
I do this to myself before every vacation. Set ridiculously high expectations of all the work I want to get done. Spend the day before vacation stressed to the max trying to make it happen.
Over the weekend I attended a restorative yoga teacher training. I’ll do a full recap post soon, but for now I’ll leave you with this:
We talked a lot about how in 2018 we calculate our worthiness based on productivity. How busy can you be? How much can you get done? What can you cram pack into a day? This hit home for me. Big time.
It’s hard. I feel like I should always be working because there is so much I want to accomplish. I want to grow my little blogging business. Produce a well-crafted podcast. Teach the best yoga sculpt class I can [with a bombass playlist, of course]. Create huge, energizing events for Holistic Happening. And figure out how to make this whole work for yourself thang a reality.
There’s always more I can be doing. And that guilt bomb strikes that maybe if I would’ve worked a little harder, a little bit more I’d be more successful [AKA profitable].
But the truth is, that’s not necessarily the case. Working more does not mean more success. And it certainly doesn’t mean anything about my self-worth. Working more sometimes just means burning yourself out. Considering I’m dealing with my second round of sickness this month, I’d say my body is at it’s limit.
So, this is me giving myself permission to do less. Permission to enjoy my vacation and not spend it worrying about getting fresh content up on the blog and social media [you bet I’ll be following my vacation rules]. Permission to not always be working during every free second I have during the day.
I don’t need to do ALL the things. And okay, this is SO much easier said than done. But maybe if I put this in writing I’ll actually stick to my word.