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We were eating lunch outside. The food was great. The view was perfect. There was a slight breeze. And I was in awe of thinking about my grandma hanging out with her great grandson.

I thought about how I was feeling a year ago right now. Anything outside of my usual life routine in nyc often times resulted in bad anxiety.

I didn’t realize how much my anxiety had taken from me. But then I have a day like yesterday where I can *feel* just how different I feel.

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Healthy Living · February 3, 2012

perfect thursday

Some days everything just lines up perfectly

http://www.youtube.com/get_player

I’ve been working on this trick for far longer than I would like to admit, and finally tonight was the night I was given the okay to catch it.
I caught my layout during the first attempt– you can hear me legit squeal with delight. added bonus? the theme tonight was summery beach party, so I am rocking a bikini while catching my layout.

incredible end to what was already a great thursday, I’m still shaking from the shock and adrenaline of actually catching this trick !
—
I attended a convention hosted by Equinox for current and future personal trainers. I am deeply considering attending one of their academies for either personal training or group fitness, and on either the east coast or west coast.

My personality has a tendency to be obsessive. I go through phases with hobbies, boys, interests, clothing, tv shows, broadway shows …. and then lose interest or get what I want and move on.

I still love trapeze, especially after nights like tonight where hard work pays off, but when I first started I was head over heels in love with the sport and talked about it every chance I got, watched youtube videos every spare moment and felt like a crack addict waiting for my fix from each trapeze class.

This happened with American Idiot after the first time I saw it, this happened with Green Day, this happened with the TV show Roseanne, this happened with In the Heights, this happened with Rent, and this happened with every boy I ever had a crush on. It fills my mind and it is all I can think about while the obsession is fresh, and then I find the next and move on.

I fear that my current obsession with exercise, fitness, and healthy living will fizzle out in a similar fashion to those other obsessions. While working out will most likely always be a big part of my life, I won’t want to talk about it and discuss it as much as I currently do.
This makes me worried that if I do decide to pursue a career in training others, I will get over this obsession and lose interest in changing the world one work out at a time?

I expressed this concern to my mom– what if I lose interest? She, being the incredible and supportive mama that she is, said “so what, you find your next passion”
Granted this obsession didn’t just start— I always love dancing, I used to have a whole ab regimen that I did every night in high school and I always loved the medical fields. But this current state of obsession– following various blogs religiously, planning out my work out week, trying to eat better, and spreading my love of sweating with everyone who is willing to talk about it, might fizzle out.

how do you know when it is more than just “lust”, more than a “crush”. its similar to when you have a crush on a guy, and he finally likes you back, and you then simply lose interest. will I lose interest? or is this the path I’ve secretly been heading towards.

… and more importantly, how does theater fit into this? I’ve spent my whole life in love with musical theater, and more passionate about it than anything else I have ever encountered. When do you know though that it is time to give up those dreams that you’ve had since you were 5 and move onto something that makes more sense?
Can I have both?
—

well thats my mini senior freak out of the day. I like to think this is what all 21 years feel like on the verge of graduating college.

despite all of this wondering, still a pretty perfect thursday. now I just have to figure out how to come down from this adrenaline high and get some sleep before my 8:30AM dance class

In: Healthy Living

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I'm Kayla! Blogger. Book lover. Comfy clothes enthusiast. Loud introvert. New Yorker. Probably wearing yoga pants and drinking an iced oat milk latte.

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Have you been to this new beach in Manhattan? #g Have you been to this new beach in Manhattan? 

#ganesvoortbeach #adayinthelife #vlog #vlogsquad #nycsummer #gansevoortbeach #nyccontentcreator #thingstodoinnyc #nycthingstodo #hudsonriverpark
Maybe you needed to hear this 💗 #30something # Maybe you needed to hear this 💗

#30something #30somethings #30somethingproblems #lifeadvice #selfcareaccount #selfcaredaily
Dream job right here… Dream job right here…
It’s been 3 months since I went on an SSRI for a It’s been 3 months since I went on an SSRI for anxiety.

I had this moment yesterday while I was sitting with my grandma, brother, and nephew. This feeling of pure bliss. And also realizing how far I’ve come in my anxiety journey.

We were eating lunch outside. The food was great. The view was perfect. There was a slight breeze. And I was in awe of thinking about my grandma hanging out with her great grandson.

I thought about how I was feeling a year ago right now. Anything outside of my usual life routine in nyc often times resulted in bad anxiety.

I didn’t realize how much my anxiety had taken from me. But then I have a day like yesterday where I can *feel* just how different I feel.

If you’re struggling know that you’re not the only one 💗 And it does get better. Little by little.

#anxiety #anxietyproblems #anxiousgirlsclub #anxiousgirl #mentalhealthawareness #contentcreator #30something
What do you wish you knew sooner? ✨ #selfcare # What do you wish you knew sooner? ✨

#selfcare #lifeadvice #bestadvice
#30something #lifeinyour30s #selfreflection
#selfrealization #intentionsetting
#selfcareaccount
I wish she could see me now 🥹 I wish she could see me now 🥹
Goes to @meta HQ to hang out with @threads, takes Goes to @meta HQ to hang out with @threads, takes all the pics 📸💕📚
Kind of digging this whole getting older thing 💕

#romanticizeyourlife #30something #30somethings
Come with me for a solo evening to go see The Outs Come with me for a solo evening to go see The Outsiders: A New Musical on Broadway (#ad)

As a former theater major who now works in the book industry, I was especially excited to see this book to musical adaptation on Broadway. I remember loving the book in middle school and I was absolutely blown away seeing the musical. My jaw literally dropped at some points, I was so in awe. 

 @outsidersmusical is now playing at the Jacobs Theatre on Broadway. Be sure to get your tickets at outsidersmusical.com or via the link in my bio.

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(Yes, the apartment is staying pink 💕 and no he (Yes, the apartment is staying pink 💕 and no he doesn’t care…)

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