“When Are You Moving In Together?”

Jeremy and I have been together 7.5 years. Since we were both in college and before I started this blog.

I don’t talk about him a ton on here or instagram. Although on Valentine’s Day I did post a photo of us for the first time maybe ever. Jeremy is SO supportive of the blog and all the ridiculous things I do for instagram. He actually takes most of the photos you see on social media.

I’ve always been somewhat private about our relationship. It’s nice to have this thing that I don’t feel obligated to share a ton about on the internet. Also I don’t really know what I’d share regarding our relationship. We’re pretty boring… but in a good way if that makes sense.

People are always surprised to hear that we’ve been [semi] long-distance the entire time we’ve been together. I use the term “semi” because we only live about an hour away from each other. We don’t get to see each other every day but most weekends it’s pretty easy for one of us to travel to the other. It also helps that we grew up in the same town and our parents live 5 minutes away from each other.

At least once I week I get asked the question “So, when are you moving in together?”

My answer? I don’t know.

I wanted to talk about this because [one] people are constantly asking me this question and [two] I find there is so much pressure to be on some particular timeline. This feeling that I must move in with my boyfriend if we’ve been together X amount of years. Or that I need to get married by X age. And then you need to have kids after you’ve been married for X amount of time.

Moving is so complicated too, with having to compartmentalize space, get used to each other’s routines, and in a way compromise on your independence. Just because it has become easier to move these days or something like that, call em and give details, bam you’re done), does not mean that you have any sort of obligation to move just because of societal norms.

I say screw the timeline.

At a young age this was instilled in me by my mom. She got married and had my brother at what was considered a “late age” by 1980’s standards. She’s always told me how she was so happy she got to experience a whole life and live on her own before she met my dad, got married and had kids.

I am not on any particular timeline.

Yes, I’m definitely starting to feel the shift in my friend group. More and more of my friends are moving in with their significant other, getting engaged or are even already married. Which is totes to be expected as I approach 30.

I’ve never been of the mindset that I must be married by age 30 or I must move in with my boyfriend if we’ve been together more than however many years. Because the truth is each case is different.

My apartment is the perfect size for me. But if Jeremy lived here we’d probably kill each other it would be SO cramped. I own my apartment which makes the process of looking for a bigger apartment a bit more complicated. Over the past 2 or so years I’ve been apartment hunting for a bigger space, but I also know it’s not smart to move unless the apartment, price and location are absolutely perfect. It’s a bit complicated.

I also remind myself: what’s the rush? Besides the fact that I wouldn’t mind being on a husband’s health insurance… but that’s a whole other story 😂

 

Right now we’re making [semi] long distance work for us. During the week we’re both able to focus on work. I’m able to stay up late doing blog-y things. And he’s able to focus on lesson planning as a high school history teacher in Westchester. We make it work and that’s all that matters to us.

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Your turn: What are your thoughts on moving in with your significant other?