Sooooo, the breakup.
Over the last month, I’ve been thinking a lot about how to talk about this (or simply not) on the blog and social media.
On the one hand: I know I don’t owe it to anyone to share ALL the details of my personal life.
But on the other hand: It’s hard to talk about my life and not address this major shift. Jeremy and I started dating before this blog or my instagram even became a thing. He’s always been there. I don’t want to pretend that everything is perfect and shiny when that’s not the truth. I’m all about authenticity after all.
I’ve also SO appreciated the stories and nuggets of wisdom I’ve received from all of YOU after I first mentioned the breakup on Instagram. The reason I started blogging in the first place was to feel less alone in my own fitness journey. None of my friends in college did yoga or went to Zumba classes in their spare time (it was 2011, Zumba was still all the rage). No one was talking about almond milk or kale. So I created my own space to have conversations on the things I wanted to talk about — I started a blog. Almost 8 years later, here I still am.
Right now I find myself turning to these platforms again as a way to feel less alone. I’m so grateful to all those that have shared their own stories with me and reached out.
Breakups suck. There’s no way around it. Today I don’t have some magical “5 Ways To Get Over a Breakup!” blog post for you. Wouldn’t it be awesome if it were that easy? Nor do I have a blog post to offer you with cute lessons I’ve learned from this breakup.
My only piece of advice?
▹ I’m realizing that there are no rules for breaking up.
Right now we’re still texting. I don’t think we’re “supposed” to be texting. But we are.
After 8 years together I still care about him as a human, deeply. Even if it doesn’t make sense for us to stay together I’m still rooting for him and happy to be his number one cheerleader.
This isn’t the case in all breakups. Every breakup is so different. Every scenario and relationship. And because of that everyone needs something different during the tender, awkward, painful time that follows. There are no rules to how that’s supposed to look. Even just by publically talking about my breakup here and on social media I’m sure I’m breaking some cardinal rule of breaking up. But here I am.
If you’re going through a tough, sad, difficult time as well I’m sending lots of love to you 💗
Obviously I have NO idea what the context is here, but as you said, don’t worry about “supposed to’s” for now, and don’t get down on yourself for doing or not doing things that you think you should be. If it’s any consolation, my ex and I leaned on each other A LOT in the early days, and it helped us figure out what boundaries could help us form a platonic friendship moving forward. He’s now officiating my upcoming wedding, and I couldn’t be more grateful that he’s still in my life. But if that kind of relationship isn’t for you, that’s ok too! You have a right to feel as raw, or unmotivated, or aimless as you do. Sending you healing vibes 🙂
That’s incredible that he’s officiating your upcoming wedding, says a lot about the bond in your relationship all along both as a couple and friends.
Thank you for the love 💗
I’m so sorry for your break-up. It’s good that it sounds amicable. It can be interesting seeing other people’s reactions. I went through a divorce a couple of years ago after 15 years of marriage. My ex and I are still the best of friends. We just weren’t happy in our marriage and we divorced before we hated or resented each other. It can be frustrating dealing with family and friends. It’s tough going through a break-up as it is. You go through a mourning period (which I’m still dealing with), and they think they should hate or shun the former partner. And it’s tough to explain how we’re still friends.
Sending you lots of love as well. It’s such a tricky thing to navigate and I don’t think there’s one way to do it.
Thanks for sharing!! I found one of your post before and I would like to know if not sharing your fitness journey was one of the reasons you broke up. My bf and me are in a similar situation where I’m all about fitness and he is not that much but he is my N.1 supporter and cheerleader. What advice could you give or any hint of how much that affected you relationship?
Wasn’t a factor at all for us — he was my number one cheerleader when I ran a marathon during our relationship and all through my career as a fitness instructor. Only reason we broke up was because he wants to have children and I am unsure.