When You’re Into Fitness But Your Boyfriend Isn’t

In “honor” of Valentine’s Day I’m giving you a glimpse into my relationship and what it’s like to be a fitness blogger dating someone not-so-into fitness.

Apologies in advanced to my boyfriend of 5+ years. I’m throwing you under the bus in this post 😂

my boyfriend isn't into fitness

Jeremy and I have been together since my senior year of college. We’re in a “semi-long distance relationship” as I like to think of it. I’m in NYC, he lives an hour north of here in the town where we both grew up. Because of this most of our time spent together is on the weekends.

When we met, I was just beginning my fitness journey and hadn’t yet started this here blog. He probably didn’t realize what he was getting himself into. Whoops.

Since then, I created this fitness blog, became a certified personal trainer, completed yoga teacher training, and ran my first 5K, half marathon and eventually marathon. And he’s been with me every step of the way, cheering me on.

On the flip side, though, he’s not as passionate about working out or fitness as I am. We never, ever workout together. In fact he rarely works out. He did, however take his first yoga class since high school (!!) at last weekend’s Holistic Happening event taught by yours truly.

Ultimately, it doesn’t bother me.

Despite the fact that Jeremy isn’t into fitness, I haven’t let that stop me from achieving my own fitness goals and maintaining my own fitness regiment.

 

 What to do if you’re into fitness… but your boyfriend isn’t

✨ Workout before he wakes up.

Granted, I’m an AM exerciser either way, but when he’s here for the weekend, I always workout first thing in the morning. By the time I get home he’s just waking up and I’ve worked up an appetite for brunch. Win, win.

 

✨ We walk. A lot.

I might not ever get Jeremy to take a SoulCycle class, but I can get him to go on long walks with me. It’s a bit trickier during the winter, but in the summer we do a TON of walking together.

 

✨ I eat as healthy as possible during the week in preparation for the weekend.

I definitely indulge a bit more over the weekend when Jeremy is here. Eating Indian food on Friday’s has been a staple in our relationship since our first date.

Since I’m on my own during the week, I make a conscious effort to make my own meals and eat healthier than I do on the weekends.

 

✨ Enjoy the benefits of working out solo.

Personally, I prefer working out alone, but in group fitness classes.

I actually kind of like that Jeremy isn’t there during my work outs distracting me. If he was there with me, I’d feel like I need to impress him!

 

✨ I focus on what we do have in common.

Instead of harping on the fact that Jeremy and I don’t share a love of fitness and can’t enjoy that quality time together, I choose to focus on the things we have in common. We both have a similar sense of humor when it comes to TV shows. It’s pretty easy to find a new show on Netflix to get hooked on. We also share a number of the same favorite bands.

And maybe most important to me, he enjoys theater. I can handle dating someone that doesn’t share my love for fitness, but enjoys theater is a must! I’ll argue he loves Hamilton even more than I do, which is saying A LOT.

 

✨ The most important thing: he supports what I’m doing.

Training for a marathon last summer definitely affected our relationship. I was cranky and tired all the time and had to change my diet around.

While I wasn’t the most pleasant person to be around during those 18-weeks, Jeremy was also my number one cheerleader, tied with my parents, of course. He’d text me throughout my long runs with words of encouragement.

During the actual marathon he was there with my parents chasing me around the city. And afterwards he stuck around to make sure I didn’t fall in the shower, and went out to dinner with me when I was the most miserable human being, ever.

All of this is to say he 100% supported my decision to run a marathon, and gave me the support I needed every step of the way. I know it wasn’t the most pleasant 18-weeks to be my boyfriend, but he understood this was important to me and didn’t care.

 

Your turn: is your significant other into fitness? 

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  • Stephen doesn’t work out ever but he understands that I need to get my workouts/runs in. I think as long as the support is there. He comes to my races, makes sure I stay hydrated and will text me during long runs to make sure I’m ok. I workout in the morning to get it out of the way to make time for him and our relationship. It’s about balance and support for us… sounds the same for you two. 💗

  • I can relate! I definitely focus on the good parts of having a non-fitness-obsessed partner, like he will always be my cheer support in races and will have hot coffee waiting for me after training sessions. Agree completely that you don’t need a partner who is as into fitness just as long as they support you and understand why it’s so important to you. Matt’s somewhat into fitness though and I’m working my magic to try and get him to sign up for a half with me later this year. Wish me luck!

  • OMG!!! This is my life. Except replace your boyfriend with my husband. Well, he didn’t always used to be this way, but along the way his job took all his focus and he just couldn’t find the time.
    But he definitely supports me. And that’s the most important thing

  • My husband isn’t into fitness either. It used to frustrate me because I felt like it was a big thing to not have in common But while he doesn’t support me in running alongside me in races, he always shows up and supports me from the sideline which is way more important. Same as you, I get my workouts in before he wakes up so it doesn’t take away from our time together, and if he happens to wake up when I’m getting ready for the gym, he’s now willing to come with me.

    • I couldn’t agree more, I feel like support is the most important part. And that’s great that he’s now willing to go with you to the gym! That’s something!

  • Thanks for sharing this. I’m in the same struggle, but it’s taking a toll. I caught him sneak smoking behind my back and he’s been gaining a lot of weight. I’m not so terribly bothered by the weight, but we can’t enjoy things together. Our sex-life is non-existent since his weight gain ( about 20lbs in the past year). I knew him years ago when he was doing triathlons and cycling and now that we are together, I kinda feel like I was deceived. He is not motivated and I’m feeling resentful that when we do cycle together, it’s sooooo slow.
    I’ve worked in fitness a long long time. I just love it. I’m not obsessed, but it’s my lifestyle. I wish I could encourage him, but he just isn’t interested. I get up early every day and do my workout before he wakes up, but I want to bike and stuff together in the weekends. He’s a great guy and we have a nice home and everything. He’s a good person, but I find myself getting frustrated. I try to focus on the many positives he has, he’s loyal, supports my passion, he’s honest, funny…but I’m tired of doing everything alone.